Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize