So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize