is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
