Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize