I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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