are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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