Do vagina's smell?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
