And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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