So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
