If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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