You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
That's intense
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
