Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
