New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
