we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
