that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
