He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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