toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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