Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
