oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
