I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
