If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize