im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
