Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
