he wants to bone in the snuggie
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
