I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
