dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
