i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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