Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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