420 ftw
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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