Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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