What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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