Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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