At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize
