Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
