I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
