i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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