Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's the barista slut.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
