I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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