pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have aggressive nipples.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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