oh god the rape fog is back!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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