just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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