Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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