It's like God shit irony all over that family
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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