Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When are your genitals available?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
