I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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