you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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