She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize