I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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