Pappa wants mamma naked
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
