She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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