If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
