btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
