i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
