I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
