Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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