we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This is the high leading the old right now
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
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are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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