I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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