those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
