So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
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Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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