Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
