barbara walters just said penis...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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