Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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