Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Sorry my hands just texted you
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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