come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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