i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
