She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize