Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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